Everyone I know is Ridiculous

-

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

False Flag

-
Image
I love conspiracy theories . I love them so much I want to take them behind the gym and get them pregnant. And I'm not alone. Be it the Lindbergh baby, the Apollo 11 moon landing, or the theory that Breyers engineered Birthday Cake Ice Cream just to make me fat, certain events throughout history have conspiracy theorists convinced that the general public isn't being told the full story. The concept of conspiracy theories has evolved throughout history. It wasn't always the modern notion of wild-eyed nutters holed up in basements with heads wrapped in tinfoil. Historically, False Flags , such as the Trojan Horse , a deceptive peace offering used during the Trojan War which allowed the Greeks to enter the city of Troy, were viewed as legitimate tales of caution against taking events at face value. But experience has taught us that not every horse is filled with an army of Greek soldiers, so what exactly causes conspiracy theories to develop in the first place? As a self-...
Read more

Feed Me Seymour!

-
Image
If all the cities in the U.S. met up for drinks one night after work, D.C. would show up late, bogart the pitcher of sangria, dominate the table conversation, then plop down a ten spot when it was time to split the tab. An hour later, D.C. would make a booty call to a metropolitan equivalent of a 5—Richmond for example—show up sloppy, be lazy in the sack, and not even give a courtesy call the next day. The point is, D.C. is a taker . Recently, a work project dominated the lion's share of my free time. Like a tornado through a Kansas City trailer park, my nights, weekends, even lunches were sucked into the vacuum. And after the storm, like a Kansas City trailer park resident, I was confused, disorientated and left with the question: "Where the hell are my pants?" D.C. is the type town that will gladly accept all the extra we're willing to give. From our jobs that asks for few hours on the weekends, to the metro which wants our patience while single-tracking, to the h...
Read more

Everything I Know Is Ridiculous - Part VII

-
Image
1) More than a third of Major League baseball pitchers are left-handers, about three times the average among the general population. 2) Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. 3) The duck-billed platypus a semi aquatic egg-laying mammal indigenous to eastern Australia, including Tasmania. It is the only egg-laying mammal known to man and some of its more cuddly features include venous foot spurs and double cone eyes which it uses to see into your soul. But this terrifying creature can do more than simply be a crime against nature: "We have a case for you detectives!" 4) The rock band AC/DC 's name is a tribute to the rivalry between Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison . 5) James Jesus Angleton , the left handed counterintelligence chief at the CIA from 1954 to 1975, suffered from crippling paranoia. But he like, these other unheeded paranoiacs , turned ...
Read more